Common Denominator
BY JOHN D. MacDONALD
Illustrated by DON HUNTER
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Galaxy Science Fiction July 1951.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
Advanced races generally are eager to share their knowledge
with primitive ones. In this case ... with Earthmen!
When Scout Group Forty flickered back across half the Galaxy with acomplete culture study of a Class Seven civilization on three planetsof Argus Ten, the Bureau of Stellar Defense had, of course, a priorityclaim on all data. Class Sevens were rare and of high potential danger,so all personnel of Group Forty were placed in tight quarantine duringthe thirty days required for a detailed analysis of the thousands offilm spools.
News of the contact leaked out and professional alarmists predicteddire things on the news screens of the three home planets of Sol. Aretired admiral of the Space Navy published an article in which hestated bitterly that the fleet had been weakened by twenty years ofsoftness in high places.
On the thirty-first day, B.S.D. reported to System President Mize thatthe inhabitants of the three planets of Argus 10 constituted no threat,that there was no military necessity for alarm, that approval of acommerce treaty was recommended, that all data was being turned over tothe Bureau of Stellar Trade and Economy for analysis, that personnel ofScout Group Forty was being given sixty days' leave before reassignment.
B.S.T.E. released film to all commercial networks at once, andvisions of slavering oily monsters disappeared from the imaginationof mankind. The Argonauts, as they came to be called, were pleasantlysimilar to mankind. It was additional proof that only in the rarestinstance was the life-apex on any planet in the home Galaxy an abruptdivergence from the "human" form. The homogeneousness of planetelements throughout the Galaxy made homogeneousness of life-apex almosta truism. The bipedal, oxygen-breathing vertebrate with opposing thumbseems best suited for survival.
If was evident that, with training, the average Argonaut could passalmost unnoticed in the Solar System. The flesh tones were brightlypink, like that of a sunburned human. Cranial hair was uniformlytaffy-yellow. They were heavier and more fleshy than humans. Theirwomen had a pronounced Rubens look, a warm, moist, rosy, comfortablelook.
Everyone remarked on the placidity and contentment of facialexpressions, by human standards. The inevitable comparison was made.The Argonauts looked like a race of inn and beer-garden proprietors inthe Bavarian Alps. With leather pants to slap, stein lids to click,feathers in Tyrolean hats and peasant skirts on their women, they wouldrepresent a culture and a way of life that had been missing from Earthfor far too many generations.
Eight months after matters had been turned over to B.S.T.E., the FirstTrade Group returned to Earth with a bewildering variety of artifactsand devices, plus a round dozen Argonauts. The Argonauts had learnedto speak Solian with an amusing guttural accent. They beamed oneverything and everybody. They were great pets until the novelty woreoff. Profitable trade was inaugurated, because the Argonaut devicesall seemed designed to make life more pleasant. The scent-thesizerbecame very popular once it was adjusted to meet human tastes. Worn asa lapel button, it could create the odor of pine, broiled steak, springflowers, Scotch wh