S&S HUMOR LIBRARY No. 4 PRICE 25 CENTS
STEPLIVELY!
A CARLOAD OF THEFUNNIEST YARNSTHAT EVER CROSSEDTHE FOOTLIGHTS
BY
GEORGENIBLO
STREET & SMITH · PUBLISHERS · NEW YORK
"Step Lively!"
A CARLOAD OF THE FUNNIEST
YARNS THAT EVER CROSSED
THE FOOTLIGHTS....
By
GEORGE NIBLO
Author of
"B'Gosh," and "Atchoo!"
STREET & SMITH, Publishers
238 William Street, New York
Copyright, 1903
By STREET & SMITH
"Step Lively!"
STEP LIVELY
There, there, there! Don'tmake such a racket oryou'll make me nervous.
The manager said to me this morning:"Just give 'em a little nonsense,Mr. Niblo. You know alittle nonsense, now and then, isrelished by the best of men."
That's the reason he engaged me; saidI was the most nonsensical man he everknew. That's right. Laugh at me. Oh, I dearly loveto see people's faces wreathed in smiles.
I've always been a seeker after fun myself.
Why, would you believe it, I once walked twentymiles to thrash a fellow—just for fun.
What's that—twenty more miles back again?Well, to tell you the truth, that didn't bother me.
You see, they carried me back in an ambulance.
I was thinking of telling you a ridiculous storyabout the dirty window, but I guess I'd better not.
You wouldn't see through it, anyway.
Instead of that let me relate a few amusing things[Pg 4]that happened to me while I wason the road lastsummer.
I always startin a Pullman, andgenerally comeback—well,what's theuse tellingfamily secrets?
While I was doing the Ohio theatres I spent somelittle time with an old friend.
He is engaged in a country school, and for fivedays in the week wrestles with the task of teachingthe young idea how toshoot. I went to see himat work, and of course thescholars were morebackward than ordin