This eBook was produced by David Widger

A LOVER'S DIARY

By Gilbert Parker

Volume 1.

CONTENTS

Volume 1.THE VISIONABOVE THE DINLOVE'S COURAGELOVE'S LANGUAGEASPIRATIONTHE MEETINGTHE NESTPISGAHLOVE IS ENOUGHAT THE PLAYSO CALM THE WORLDTHE WELCOMETHE SHRINETHE TORCHIN ARMOURIN THEE MY ARTDENIALTESTAMENTCAPTIVITYO MYSTIC WINGSWAS IT THY FACE?A WOMAN'S HANDONE FACE I SEEMOTHERWHEN FIRST I SAW THEETHE FATES LAUGHAS ONE WHO WAITETHTHE SEALINGTHE PLEDGELOVE'S TRIBUTARIESTHE CHOICERECOGNITIONTHE WAY OF DREAMSTHE ACCOLADEFALLEN IDOLSTENNYSONTHE ANOINTED
Volume 2.DREAMSTHE BRIDETHE WRAITHSURRENDERTHE CITADELMALFEASANCEANNUNCIATIONVANISHED DREAMSINTO THY LANDDIVIDEDWE MUST LIVE ONYET LIFE IS SWEETLOST FOOTSTEPSTHE CLOSED DOORTHE CHALICEMIO DESTINOI HAVE BEHELDTOO SOON AWAYTHE TREASUREDAHINLOVE'S USURYTHE DECREE'TIS MORNING NOWSACRIFICESHINE ONSO, THOU ART GONETHE THOUSAND THINGSONESTHE SEATHE CHARTREVEALINGOVERCOMINGWHITHER NOWARARATAS LIGHT LEAPS UPTHE DARKENED WAYREUNITEDSONG WAS GONE FROM MEGOOD WAS THE FIGHTUNCHANGEDABSOLVO TEBENEDICTUSTHE MESSAGEUNAVAILINGYOU SHALL LIVE ON"VEX NOT THIS GHOST"THE MEMORYTHE PASSINGENVOY

INTRODUCTION

'A Lover's Diary' has not the same modest history as 'Embers'. As farback as 1894 it was given to the public without any apology or excuse,but I have been apologising for it ever since, in one way—without avail.I wished that at least one-fifth of it had not been published; but myapology was never heard till now as I withdraw from this edition of ALover's Diary some twenty-five sonnets representing fully one-fifth ofthe original edition. As it now stands the faint thread of narrative ismore distinct, and redundancy of sentiment and words is modified to someextent at any rate. Such material story as there is, apart from thespiritual history embodied in the sonnets, seems more visible now, andthe reader has a clearer revelation of a young, aspiring, candid mindshadowed by stern conventions of thought, dogma, and formula, butbreaking loose from the environment which smothered it. The price itpays for the revelation is a hopeless love informed by temptation, butlifted away from ruinous elements by self-renunciation, to end with theinevitable parting, poignant and permanent, a task of the soul finishedand the toll of the journey of understanding paid.

The six sonnets in italics, beginning with 'The Bride', and ending with'Annunciation', have nothing to do with the story further than to showtwo phases of the youth's mind before it was shaken by speculation,plunged into the sadness of doubt and apprehension, and before it hadfound the love which was to reveal it to itself, transform the character,and give new impulse and direction to personal force and individualsense. These were written when I was twenty and twenty-one years of age,and the sonnet sequence of 'A Lover's Diary' was begun when I was twenty-three. They were continued over seven years in varying quantity.Sometimes two or three were written in a week, and then no more would bewritten for several weeks or maybe months, and it is clearly to be seenfrom the text, from the change in style, and above all in the nature ofthe thought that between 'The Darkened Way', which ends one epoch, and'Reunited', which begins another and the last epoch, were interveningyears.

The sonnet which begins the book and particularly that which ends thebook have been very widely quoted, and 'Envoy' has been set to music by

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