The Author of "The Golden Fountain"
London
John M. Watkins
21 Cecil Court, Charing Cross Road, W.C. 2
1920
What am I? In my flesh I am but equal to the beasts of the field. In my heartand mind I am corrupt Humanity. In my soul I know not what I am or may be, andtherein lies my hope.
O wonderful and mysterious soul, more fragile than gossamer and yet so strongthat she may stand in the Presence of God and not perish!
"Though ye have lien among the pots, yet shall ye be as the wings of adove."—Psalm lxviii. 13.
By what means shall the ordinary man and woman, living the usual everydaylife, whether of work or of leisure, find God? And this without withdrawingthemselves into a life apart—a "religious" life, and without outward andconspicuous piety always running to public worship (though often very cross andimpatient at home); without leaving undone any of the duties necessary to thewelfare of those dependent on them; without making themselves in any waypeculiar;—how shall these same people go up into the secret places of God, howshall they find the marvellous peace of God, how satisfy those vague persistentlongings for a happiness more complete than any they have so far known, yet ahappiness which is whispered of between the heart and the soul as somethingwhich is to be possessed if we but knew how to get it? How shall ordinarymortals whilst still in the flesh re-enter Eden even for an hour? for Eden isnot dead and gone, but we are dead to Eden—Eden, the secret garden ofenchantment where the soul and the mind and the heart live in the presence ofGod and hear once more "the voice of God walking in the garden in the cool ofthe day" (Gen. iii.).
It is possible for these things to come to us or we to them, and in quite afew years if we set our hearts on them. First we must desire; and after thedesire, steady and persistent, God will give. And we say, "But I have desiredand I do desire, and God does not give. Why is this?" There are two reasons forit. For one—are these marvellous things to be given because of one cry; for onepetulant demand; for a few tears, mostly of self-pity, shed in an hour when theworld fails to satisfy us, when a friend has disappointed us, when our plans arespoiled, when we are sick or lonely? These are the occasions on which we mostlyfind time to think of what we call a better world, and of the consolations ofGod.
But let anyone have all that he can fancy, be carried high upon theflood-tide of prosperity, ambition, and success, and how much time will he orshe give to Almighty God?—not two moments during the day. Yet the Maker of allthings is to bestow His unspeakable riches upon us in return for two moments ofour thought or love! Does a man acquire great worldly wealth, or fame, in returnfor two moments of endeavour?
"Ah," some of us may cry, "but it is more than two moments that I give Him; Igive Him hours, and yet I cannot find Him." If that is really so, then thesecond reason is the one which would explain why He has not been found. A greatwall divides us from the consciousness of the Presence of God. In this wallthere is one Door, and one only, Jesus Christ. We have not found God because wehave not found Him first as Jesus Christ in our own heart. Now whether we takeour heart to church, whether we take it to our daily work, or whether we take itto our amusements, we shall not find Jesus in any one place more than another ifHe is not already in our hearts to begin with. How shall I commence to love aBeing whom I have never seen? By thinking about Him; by thinking about Him verypersistently; by comparing the world and its friendships and its loves and itsd