Produced by David Widger
LETTERS TO HIS SON 1751
By the EARL OF CHESTERFIELD
on the Fine Art of becoming a
and a
LONDON, January 8, O.S. 1751
MY DEAR FRIEND: By your letter of the 5th, N. S., I find that your'debut' at Paris has been a good one; you are entered into good company,and I dare say you will, not sink into bad. Frequent the houses where youhave been once invited, and have none of that shyness which makes most ofyour countrymen strangers, where they might be intimate and domestic ifthey pleased. Wherever you have a general invitation to sup when youplease, profit of it, with decency, and go every now and then. LordAlbemarle will, I am sure, be extremely kind to you, but his house isonly a dinner house; and, as I am informed, frequented by no Frenchpeople. Should he happen to employ you in his bureau, which I much doubt,you must write a better hand than your common one, or you will get nocredit by your manuscripts; for your hand is at present an illiberal one;it is neither a hand of business nor of a gentleman, but the hand of aschool-boy writing his exercise, which he hopes will never be read.
Madame de Monconseil gives me a favorable account of you; and so doMarquis de Matignon and Madame du Boccage; they all say that you desireto please, and consequently promise me that you will; and they judgeright; for whoever really desires to please, and has (as you now have)the means of learning how, certainly will please and that is the greatpoint of life; it makes all other things easy. Whenever you are withMadame de Monconseil, Madame du Boccage, or other women of fashion, withwhom you are tolerably free, say frankly and naturally: "I know little ofthe world; I am quite a novice in it; and although very desirous ofpleasing, I am at a loss for the means. Be so good, Madame, as to let meinto your secret of pleasing everybody. I shall owe my success to it, andyou will always have more than falls to your share." When, in consequenceof this request, they shall tell you of any little error, awkwardness, orimpropriety, you should not only feel, but express the warmestacknowledgment. Though nature should suffer, and she will at firsthearing them, tell them, that you will look upon the most severecriticisms as the greatest proof of their friendship. Madame du Boccagetells me, particularly, to inform you: "I shall always, receive the honorof his visits with pleasure; it is true, that at his age the pleasures ofconversation are cold; but I will endeavor to make him acquainted withyoung people," etc.
Make use of this invitation, and as you live, in a manner, next door toher, step in and out there frequently. Monsieur du Boccage will go withyou, he tells me, with great pleasure, to the plays, and point out to youwhatever deserves your knowing there. This is worth your acceptance too;he has a very good taste. I have not yet heard from Lady Hervey upon yoursubject; but as you inform me that you have already supped with her once,I look upon you as adopted by her; consult her in all your littlematters; tell her any difficulties that may occur to you; ask her whatyou should do or say in such or such cases; she has 'l'usage du monde enperfection', and will help you to acquire it. Madame de Berkenrode 'estpaitrie de graces', and your quotation is very applicable to her. You maybe there, I dare say, as often as you please, and I would advise you tosup there