E-text prepared by Roger Frank
and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
()
THE CHOICE OF LIFE
THE CHOICE OF LIFE BY GEORGETTE LEBLANC TRANSLATED BY ALEXANDER TEIXEIRA de MATTOS NEW YORK DODD, MEAD AND COMPANY 1914 |
Copyright, 1914, by
DODD, MEAD AND COMPANY
Published, March, 1914
Women are ever divided by a miserable distrust, whereas all theirweaknesses intertwined might make for their lives a crown of love andstrength and beauty....
How one of them strove to deliver her unhappy friend, the words whichshe spoke to her, the examples which she set before her, the joys whichshe offered her: these are what I have tried to record in this book.
G.L.
PART THE FIRST
1
Here in the garden, close to the quiet house, I sit thinking of thatstrange meeting in the village. A blackbird at regular intervals singsthe same refrain, which is taken up by others in the distance. Thelily's chalice gleams under the blazing sun; and the humbler flowersmeekly droop their heads. White butterflies are everywhere, flittingrestlessly hither and thither. So fierce is the splendour of the daythat I cannot raise my eyes to the summit of the trees; and my quiveringlids show me the whole sky through my lashes.
Thereupon it seems to me that the emotion which bursts from my heart,like a too-brilliant light, compels me to close the shutters of my brainas well. In my mind, even as before my eyes, distances are lessened andI see stretched before me that more or less illusive goal which we wouldall fain reach in the desires of our finer selves.
This idea is soothing to me, for, in my eagerness to act, I am tired ofdemanding from my reason reasons which it cannot vouchsafe me.
Is there anything definite amid the uncertainty of these blind efforts,these unaccountable impulses, which have so often, ever since the firstawakening of my unconsciousness, urged me towards other women? What haveI wanted hitherto? What was it that I hoped when I stretched out myhands to them, when I looked upon their lives, when I searched theirhearts, when at times I changed the very nature of their strivings? Idid not know then; and even now I do not succeed in explaining to myselfthe fever that makes my thoughts tingle and burn. I do not understand, Ido not know. How did that dream stand firm amid the total annihilationof unprofi