PEOPLE YOU KNOW
PEOPLE YOU KNOW
By GEORGE ADE
Illustrated by John T. McCutcheon and Others
MCMIV
Preface
This little book is not supposed to contain any new information. It is made up of plain observations concerning people who live just around the corner. If the reader will bear in mind that only the people who live around the corner are discussed in this volume, there will be no chance for painful misunderstandings. I have no desire to rub the wrong way anyone who proves his true friendship by purchasing a copy of this Work. It may be advisable to explain that these Fables are written in the colloquial American language. The vocabulary employed is one that has become familiar to the ear, although it is seldom seen on the printed page. In other words, this volume contains a shameless amount of slang. If any part of it is unintelligible to the reader, he should be glad that he has escaped what seems to be an epidemic.
CONTENTS
The Periodical Souse, the Never-Again Feeling and the Ride On the Sprinkling Cart, 13
The Kind of Music That Is Too Good for Household Use, 23
The One or Two Points of Difference Between Learning and Learning How, 26
The Night-Watch and the Would-Be Something Awful, 37
The Attenuated Attorney Who Rang In the Associate Counsel, 46
What Father Bumped Into at the Culture Factory, 54
The Search for the Right House and How Mrs. Jump Had Her Annual Attack, 65
The Batch of Letters, or One Day With a Busy Man, 72
The Sickly Dream and How It Was Doctored Up, 81
The Two Old Pals and the Call for Help, 90
The Regular Kind of a Place and the Usual Way It Turned Out, 99
The Man Who Had a True Friend to Steer Him Along, 107
The Young Napoleon Who Went Back to the Store On Monday Morning, 110
The High Art That Was a Little Too High for the Vulgarian Who Paid the Bills, 119
The Patient Toiler Who Got It in the Usual Place, 129
The Summer Vacation That Was Too Good to Last, ...