Produced by Dagny and Frank J. Morlock
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Translated and adapted
By Frank J. Morlock
Characters French names
Mr. Townly M. Oronte
Mrs. Townly Mme. Oronte
Lucas, the gardener Lucas
Angelica Angelique
Edward Richly Valere
Mr. Nelson M. Thibaudois
Lawyer Notary
Lackey Lackey
Six men, two women
The scene is a garden before Mr. Townly's house in London. Lucas, thegardener enters in a rage.
Lucas:
To hell with that bitch and her contradictory nature!
Townly:
There, there, Lucas, softly.
Lucas:
No, sir. I can no longer put up with your wife's temperament.
Townly:You have to forgive her, because the spirit of contradiction isnatural to her.
Lucas:When she contradicts you like crazy,—you, her husband—that'snatural, huh? Well, maybe. But it isn't natural that she shouldcontradict my garden.
Townly:
Patience, Lucas, patience.
Lucas:To be perfectly frank I don't like being gardener here—or anywherethere are women. A woman in a garden causes more damage than a millionhedgehogs.
Townly:
You're right and my wife is in the wrong.
Lucas:Everything I've planted is torn up. She's replanted all the weeds Itore out when I was grafting. She said they're wildflowers. Then whenI planted the cabbages she said she now wants lettuces. Nothing isdone by her order that doesn't reverse something I've done. Yesterdayshe half buried my prunes under melons. I believe, God pardon me! thatit would be better for me to plant watermelons in the grape arbor.
Townly:She's unreasonable, but let's forget about that, Lucas. Let's talkabout marrying my daughter. I need your advice about that matter.
Lucas:
I haven't got an idea in my head because I've been fighting with
Madam. That puts me in an uncultivated state—me and my garden. And
besides, she's just discharged me.
Townly:
Don't worry about it. Never mind. I'll take care of you.
Lucas:How are you going to take care of me against her—when you can't takecare of yourself? Hey! did I ever tell you that you're too easy withher? As soon as she says yes or no, you say the same.
Townly:What do you want, Lucas? I love my wife. She has no other pleasurethan to do exactly the opposite of what I want. So I provide her withthat small satisfaction.
Lucas:You do that if that's what you like. But don't worry, her humour istoo settled for it to give her any satisfaction