A COMPLETE HAND BOOK FOR THE USE OF THE LADY IN POLITE SOCIETY.
CONTAINING
FULL DIRECTIONS FOR CORRECT MANNERS, DRESS, DEPORTMENT, AND CONVERSATION;
RULES FOR THE DUTIES OF BOTH HOSTESS AND GUEST
IN MORNING RECEPTIONS, DINNER COMPANIES, VISITING, EVENING
PARTIES AND BALLS; A COMPLETE GUIDE FOR LETTER
WRITING AND CARDS OF COMPLIMENT; HINTS
ON MANAGING SERVANTS, ON THE PRESERVATION
OF HEALTH, AND ON ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
AND ALSO
USEFUL RECEIPTS FOR THE COMPLEXION, HAIR, AND WITH HINTS
AND DIRECTIONS FOR THE CARE OF THE WARDROBE.
BY
FLORENCE HARTLEY,
AUTHOR OF THE "LADIES' HAND BOOK OF FANCY AND ORNAMENTAL WORK."
BOSTON:
G. W. COTTRELL, PUBLISHER,
36 Cornhill.
Entered according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1860, by
G. G. EVANS,
in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Eastern District of
Pennsylvania.
In preparing a book of etiquette for ladies, I would lay downas the first rule, "Do unto others as you would others shoulddo to you." You can never be rude if you bear the rulealways in mind, for what lady likes to be treated rudely?True Christian politeness will always be the result of an unselfishregard for the feelings of others, and though you mayerr in the ceremonious points of etiquette, you will never be impolite.
Politeness, founded upon such a rule, becomes the expression,in graceful manner, of social virtues. The spirit of politenessconsists in a certain attention to forms and ceremonies, whichare meant both to please others and ourselves, and to makeothers pleased with us; a still clearer definition may be givenby saying that politeness is goodness of heart put into dailypractice; there can be no true politeness without kindness,purity, singleness of heart, and sensibility.
Many believe that politeness is but a mask worn in the worldto conceal bad passions and impulses, and to make a show ofpossessing virtues not really existing in the heart; thus, thatpoliteness is merely hypocrisy and dissimulation. Do not believethis; be certain that those who profess such a doctrineare practising themselves the deceit they condemn so much.Such people scout politeness, because, to be truly a lady, one[4]must carry the principles into every circumstance of life, intothe family circle, the most intimate friendship, and never forgetto extend the gentle courtesies of life to every one. This theyfind too much trouble, and so deride the idea of being politeand call it deceitfulness.
True politeness is the language of a good heart, and thosepossessing that heart will never, under any circumstances, berude. They may not enter a crowded saloon gracefully; theymay be entirely ignorant of the forms of good society; they maybe awkward at table, ungrammatical in speech; but they willnever be heard speaking so as to wound the feelings of another;they will never be seen making others uncomfortable by seekingsolely for their own personal convenience; they will alwaysendeavor to set every one around them at ease; they will beself-sacrificing, friendly, unselfish; truly in word and deed,polite. Give to such