PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 103.
December 31, 1892.
THE COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON.
(A Characteristic Welcome to the Coming Year.)
It was on the 31st of December that they met. It had been arrangedthat at the final hour of the last day of the expiring year theyshould compare notes, and not one of them had failed to keep theappointment. It would be scarcely right to say they were cheerful,but merriment was not included in the programme.
The Military Man
"There is not the slightest chance of my bettering myself," saidthe Military Man. "Now that the Regiment has come from India, I can'tafford to live at home, and I can't exchange because of myliver. Promotion was never slower than in 'Ours,' and my look-out isabout the most ghastly there ever yet was seen."
The Briefless Barrister
"You are wrong there," observed the Briefless Barrister of mature years."I think mine is a shade worse. I give you my word that during the lasttwelve months I have not earned enough fees to pay the rent of myChambers and the salary of my Clerk. And things are getting worse andworse. One of the Solicitors who used to give me an occasional turn hasbeen struck off the Rolls, and the other, has transferred his businessto Australia. I feel inclined to follow, but I can't raise thepassage-money. What luck, now, could be worse than mine?"
"Why mine," answered the Author. "An entirely new set of men have cometo the front since I was popular, and my works are a drug in the market.I haven't been able to get rid of more than a dozen pages during thetwelve months, and they appeared in a Magazine that stopped before theappearance of the next number! The future never looked blacker and morehopeless. I believe I am the most unfortunate man on earth."
The Doctor
The Actor who has his Head turned withApplause.
"I fancy you are wrong," put in the Doctor. "I think my look-out worsethan yours. Sold my practice seven years ago to flutter on the StockExchange. Lost my money in seven minutes, and have never had a patientsince. I went to West Slocum (my old home) the other day, and found theplace occupied by three Doctors, and the local Undertaker to