"Anybody," said an astute lawyer, addressing the jury to whom theopposing counsel had reflected upon inaccuracies in the spelling of hisbrief—"anybody can write English correctly, but surely a man may beallowed to spell a word in two or three different ways if he likes!"This was a claim for independence of action which so commended itself tothe jury that it won a verdict for his client.[Pg. 6]The same plea may beconsidered in regard to the truly wonderful way in which themother-tongue is often written, by the educated sometimes as well as bythe uneducated.
A man, it may be urged, has a right to spell as he chooses, and toexpress his ideas, when he has any, as best he can; while, when hesuffers from a dearth of those rare articles, he has still more reasonto rejoice in liberty of choice in respect to the language he selects tocover his poverty of thought. Hence there are doubtless good andsufficient reasons for every specimen of "English as she is wrote,"[Pg. 7]which it is the object of this little book to rescue from oblivion, andwhich have, one and all, been written with the sober conviction, uponthe part of the writers, that they accurately conveyed the meaning theydesired. Intentionally humorous efforts have been carefully excluded,and the interest of the collection consists in the spontaneity ofexpression and in the fact that it offers fair samples of thepossibilities which lie hidden in the orthography and construction ofour language. Let it be remembered, then, that anybody canwrite English as she "should be wrote," and hence that a certain meed ofadmiration is due to those who, exercising their right of independent[Pg. 8]action, succeed in making it at once original and racy, and inconveying, without the least effort, meanings totally opposed to theirintention, affording thereby admirable examples of English as "she iswrote" by thousands.
In the account of an inaugural ceremony it was asserted that "theprocession was very fine,