THE
HAPPY
UNFORTUNATE
By ROBERT SILVERBERG
Rolf Dekker stared incredulouslyat the slim,handsome young Earther whowas approaching the steps ofRolf's tumbling-down Spacertownshack. He's got no ears,Rolf noted in unbelief. Afterfive years in space, Rolf hadcome home to a strangely-alteredworld, and he found ithard to accept.
Another Earther appeared.This one was about the samesize, and gave the same impressionof fragility. This onehad ears, all right—and a pairof gleaming, two-inch hornson his forehead as well. I'llbe eternally roasted, Rolfthought. Now I've seen everything.
Both Earthers were dressedin neat, gold-inlaid greentunics, costumes which lookedterribly out of place amidthe filth of Spacertown, andtheir hair was dyed a lightgreen to match.
He had been scrutinizingthem for several moments beforethey became aware ofhim. They both spotted himat once and the one with noears turned to his companionand whispered something.Rolf, leaning forward, strainedto hear.
"... beautiful, isn't he?That's the biggest one I'veseen!"
"Come over here, won'tyou?" the horned one called,in a soft, gentle voice whichcontrasted oddly with theraucous bellowing Rolf hadbeen accustomed to hearing inspace. "We'd like to talk toyou."
Just then Kanaday emergedfrom the door of the shackand limped down to the staircase.
The doctor refused to change Dekker, so Dekker wasgoing to change the doctor."Hey, Rolf!" he called."Leave those things alone!"
"Let me find out what theywant first, huh?"
"Can't be any good, whateverit is," Kanaday growled."Tell them to get out of herebefore I throw them back towherever they came from.And make it fast."
The two Earthers looked ateach other uneasily. Rolfwalked toward them.
"He doesn't like Earthers,that's all," Rolf explained."But he won't do anything butyell."
Kanaday spat in disgust,turned, and limped back insidethe shack.
"I didn't know you werewearing horns," Rolf said.
The Earther flushed. "Newstyle," he said. "Very expensive."
"Oh," Rolf said. "I'm newhere; I just got back. Fiveyears in space. When I leftyou people looked all alike.Now you wear horns."
"It's the new trend," saidthe earless one. "We're Individs.When you left the Conformswere in power, style-wise.But the new surgeonscan do almost anything, yousee."
The shadow of a frowncrossed Rolf's face. "Anything?"
"Almost. They can't transforman Earther into aSpacer, and they don't thinkthey ever will."
"Or vice versa?" Rolf asked.
They sniggered. "WhatSpacer would want to becomean Earther? Who would giveup that life, out in the stars?"
Rolf said nothing. He kickedat the heap of litter in thefilthy street. What spacer indeed?he thought. He suddenlyrealized that the two littleEarthers were staring up athim as if he were some sortof beast. He probably weighedas much as both of them, heknew, and at six-four he wasbetter than a foot taller. Theylooked like children next tohim, like toys. The savageblast of acceleration wouldsnap their flimsy bodies liketoothpicks.
"What places have you beento?" the earless one asked