A SERIO-COMIC DETECTIVE TALE IN WHICH NO
FIRE-ARMS ARE USED AND NO ONE IS KILLED
BEING A THREE DAYS EPISODE IN THE LIFE OF
THE DUKE OF BELLEVILLE AS RELATED BY
LORD EDWARD LYNDON
JOHN EYERMAN
NEW YORK
1917
The fabric of this tale is based largely upon the use of Book-Titles,and the names, several names in connection, or expressions inCAPITALS, which indicate these titles, should in no way interferewith the continuous reading of the story.
No Title, of either one or more words, is used more than once,unless such title is represented by more than one Author.
Approximately, Nine Hundred Book-Titles have been used.
No Literary Merit is claimed for this Tale, as none has been attempted.The following Letter explains itself:
BARCHESTER TOWERS,
KENILWORTH.
Saturday.
Dear Eyerman:
When we were talking the other night at MRS.PERKIN'S BALL, I was just about to ask you afavor, when OUR MUTUAL FRIEND, ADDISON,with his usual lack of GOOD FORM FORALL OCCASIONS, decided to fasten himself to us:AFTERWARD, AT THE CASA NAPOLEON,THE AMERICANS tied me up. I am glad to saythat I am now FAR FROM THE MADDINGCROWDS, and VILETTE, THE BEAUTIFULWRETCH that she is, has urged me to write you.
When Scarlett's eye-troubles began he decidedto amuse himself by dictating to MISS MARJORIBANKS,THE STORY OF MY LIFE, as he calledit * * * * Ten days ago, and to my AMAZEMENT,he was ordered to INDIA and his work isnot completed, and I am no good at that kind ofthing. I want YOU to undertake the WORK,and Scarlett wants you too. Don't refuse, please.
Present or absent, I trust, my dear fellow, thatyou will think of me always as your sincere friend.
Belleville.
My PRINTERS have informed me that ALL THINGS CONSIDERED,it will be best to omit the Introduction, as it is "NOT INIT" with the tale, WHICH was to have followed.
NOW, at first, I considered this all STUFF AND NONSENSE,for I am sure I know MORE about CLEVER TALES, than they doabout printed MATTER, and I believe that I am considered one ofthe best DESCRIPTIVE WRITERS in GREAT BRITAIN, andcertainly can write SKETCHES AND STORIES; however, "IT'SUP TO YOU," but when the printers told me that the questionwould be asked "WHO WROTE THAT?" to be followed by the remark"IT'S GREAT TO BE CRAZY," I decided that as MYBROTHER AND I are PALS FIRST, FOR HIS SAKE, the Introduction,AS A MATTER OF COURSE, must be omitted.